Daddy here. One of the reasons I write this blog is so that someday when you guys read it, you may get a little understanding in what I think and feel. I also write it for me, so that I can express my thoughts and feelings and explore the depth of my own mind. Some day I won't be here anymore to tell you that I love you or hold your hand or laugh and joke with you. I always want you to know that I love you guys more than any words I could type here. I think our journey together through this life has been the best part of being alive and I thank you for all the great memories we have shared. I look forward to may more years of memories with you.
Recently, I had had some chest pain and some breathing difficulties. On Feb 11th, it got really bad and I went to the ER. While I was there, they ran a bunch of tests on me and one of the things they thought was wrong with me was a Pulmonary Embolism. They needed to give me a chest CT to confirm. I know you guys don't remember, but that was the last thing that Grandpa ever did before he died. When they told me I'd have to get one done, I was really scared. Scared that I might have it, scared that I might just die right on the table, scared that I never got a chance to say goodbye to Mom and you. As you know by now, I didn't have that and the Pericarditis which I did have was taken care of. Your health is not something you should ever take for granted. Even though my fears were unsubstantiated and silly, it still made me think. I pray for courage to face my own death, we all will need to some day and I pray that God gives me courage to deal with what I must. I know in my heart that we're going to a better place, but it's still kind of scary to figure out what happens between here and there.
Just know that whatever happens to any of us, Jesus will help us though it. I love you guys,
Daddy
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